Soulful Surges: Embracing Life's Rhythms Under the Full Moon

Hello everyone! I'm thrilled to have you here, joining me on this journey through my very first blog post. Let's dive right in, shall we?

I'm Federica, and my life took a profound turn a couple of years ago. At the age of 30, a deep yearning to understand the meaning of life propelled me into an exploration that extended beyond the 11 years of talk therapy I had undergone. Despite my mind being keenly aware of my past experiences, my body and emotions seemed disconnected. I found myself stuck in the past, unable to truly enjoy the present.

Life, as it turns out, requires balance. Just like what we eat and drink, our emotions and even our healing processes demand equilibrium. Otherwise, we risk forgetting to live in the moment we have right now.

So, I asked myself, "What do I need right now?" Simple question, right? But trust me, it's not always easy to answer. Fortunately, my response was clear at the time - "I needed time for myself, with new people, in a new environment, and a connection to nature." This realization led me to book a trip to France, specifically a surf holiday, despite having never surfed before.

Upon arrival, I felt disoriented, a bit disappointed, confused, and fearful. Yet, my body spoke volumes. It was at ease, even as my mind continued to whirl like a tornado. What made this experience special was the openness, curiosity, and lack of judgment towards myself and others.

The people I met were unlike any I'd encountered before. Their genuineness, real laughter, strong sense of community, and passion for surfing created a familial atmosphere. It was a family, perhaps the one I never had. In this environment, judgment was absent, and I always felt heard, seen, and included. Boundaries were communicated with love and care, and we connected with nature, sharing beautiful moments together.

One night, a girl asked me, “Let’s go for a full moon surf!” I was at the very beginning of my surfing journey, and honestly, I didn’t know if I was ready for it. In Hossegor, even during the summer, the weather is cool, and the water is freezing. I'd already taken a shower, and contemplating another one was genuinely irksome. I shared my annoyance with her, and she responded, “Stop being in your head, live in the present, and you will not regret it.”

At that time, I harbored skepticism about spirituality, a topic prevalent in my family but never quite used in the right way. So, it was challenging for me to believe that a surf under the full moon could change my life. Does the moon possess this profound power? Is astrology just a bunch of nonsense? Are we truly that connected with nature? Despite these doubts, I decided to see, to feel, and to give it a try. I chose openness and curiosity over skepticism.

When I arrived, I still remember the uncomfortable feeling. My friend was exuberant, while I remained grumpy and annoyed. Despite my irritable demeanor, she didn’t judge me. Instead, she saw me authentically, empathizing with my wounds without passing judgment. I suited up in my wetsuit, and we paddled out to the lineup (surf language for going surfing). I was scared, unable to see anything in the dark sky and water, pondering the existence of creepy underwater creatures.

I slipped into a fight or flight response, hyper-vigilant, unable to control anything. I wasn’t in the present moment. However, my friend, empathic and compassionate, noticed my feelings without making me uncomfortable. She simply said, “Let it go, let go of your thoughts, feel, feel the water, feel the experience, just feel, shut down your fucking head right now, feel it in your body.” I looked at her like, “Oh my god, this girl is crazy.” My resistance to feeling the present moment was potent.

But she left the surfboard, floated in the water like a star, and screamed like crazy. I can't even describe the face I had at that moment. Embarrassment overwhelmed me. "What if someone hears us? Maybe they'll think we're crazy. Why can't she cool down? Let's go back to the shore." Despite my concerns, her genuine, real, and contagious expression prevailed. So, I left the surfboard, floated like a star, and started screaming too.

The immediate reaction of my body was crying; I was screaming and crying. My thoughts became calmer because the intense bodily response was more pleasant than being in my judgmental mind. Looking at the sky, with the moon and stars, I was floating—floating in the present moment. Even now, I get emotional when I think about that moment. There was nothing else there but me, my joy, my happiness—my life.

That was life; that was the meaning of life I had been searching for. It was like I opened something inside me, like I understood what I had missed until that moment, like I grasped the essence of authenticity. It was me. For the first time in my life, I was truly alive. This story might seem romanticized, like a fairy tale, but let me assure you, it was the most real moment I've lived.

So, what did I understand from it? I realized that the environment makes a difference, that people around you are fundamental. We have to choose those who see and hear us, those who make us feel safe. Our connection to nature is our spirituality. I grasped the meaning of authentic love. Life gains a deeper meaning when seen holistically—mind, body, emotions, and spirit are deeply interconnected.

And that's why I chose a holistic approach. I understood that being present means feeling emotions in the body, not just identifying with them. Most of the time, we prefer to say, "I am sad," instead of "feeling sadness" or "I am happy" instead of feeling happiness. When I was floating in the water, I wasn’t identifying with any emotions. I was living the emotion.

I hope this story helps you discover a bit more about me and sparks your curiosity about the holistic approach. Thank you for listening to my words. I still believe that the power of sharing experiences is the most important tool we have right now.

From my heart to yours, I thank you.