Are We a Tribe?

A few days ago, I went to a party, yes, I party too sometimes, and I definitely realized that I need to do it more often.

There was something special that I couldn’t quite define, but I kept asking myself, what was it that made us all feel so connected and so high on life?

I swear it wasn’t about alcohol or anything like that, no one was drunk or under the influence of any substances. It was a purely profound moment, fueled by nothing but the energy we shared.

I was observing, watching how we behaved, how everything seemed to flow in harmony, and at the core of it all was just one thing, connection.

There was something primal that I couldn't put into words, but it was visible. It made me wonder, is a group experience something so deeply ingrained in us? Are our ancient roots resurfacing?

We were once tribes, back in the day. How much do we miss that part of ourselves, our connection to this ancient tradition?

If you think about it, even in today’s society, we are still deeply connected to tribal instincts. Take piercings, tattoos, and makeup, for example, all of these stem from ancient traditions.

Dancing and feeling connected began long before we can even imagine. Yesterday, I realized how powerful the collective experience of dancing is. You don’t even need to talk, you just look, you move. Your body expresses itself in an almost animalistic way. We become animals.

Expressions and eye contact become so raw and vivid, as if all our masks fall away, as if our layers are stripped back, or maybe just made more visible.

We come together in dance for acceptance, for connection, for communication. Emotions are raw and clear, we touch, we hug, we smile, we laugh, we shout. What could be more primal than that?

Can you imagine if this could be a routine? Of course not, because in everyday life, there are societal expectations. We can’t just shout, dance, hug, and touch each other with the same natural ease as we do in the right setting. And to be clear, I’m not talking about anything inappropriate, I mean simple, respectful human touch.

Back in the day, tribes danced for three simple reasons:

- To connect with others

- To feel part of something bigger

- To express emotions without words

Look at the similarities, for example:

The Role of the "Ritual Leader"

- In tribal societies, shamans or elders led rituals through music and movement.

- In clubs, the DJ plays a similar role, controlling the energy flow of the night, creating peaks of euphoria and moments of introspection.

Catharsis and Energy Release

- Tribal rituals served to release tension, overcome fears, or celebrate life.

- In a club, dancing becomes a way to let go of daily stress, to surrender, and to connect with emotions in a raw and primal way.

Expression of Identity

- Tribes used dance to express their culture, their role in the community, and their connection to the world.

- In clubs, dancing styles, dress codes, and subcultures, such as techno, house, or hip-hop, become a way to express both individual and collective identity.

The Importance of Community

- Tribal dances were, and still are, moments when the community gathered to celebrate, heal, or mark important events.

- In a club, even if you don’t know everyone, a temporary sense of unity is created, you dance together, you feel part of a shared energy, no words needed.

Rhythm and Trance

- In tribal rituals, the steady beat of drums induced trance-like states, connecting participants with the spirits or the group.

- In clubs, repetitive electronic music and deep basslines create a similar effect, making people lose their sense of time and enter a kind of collective trance.

And here we are again, connection remains the most important thing in our lives. We need to feel connected to something, we can’t live without it.

As Gabor Maté said, excessive solitude can be more harmful than smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day.

Sometimes, we don’t realize that our ancient traditions and primal needs are part of what makes us authentic. We have forgotten the important values we once had, values that were neither covered nor hidden by a disconnected society that now relies on social media, WhatsApp, and AI to suppress something deeply ingrained in our body.

Our body craves a sense of belonging, but sometimes, this need is hard to recognize because of one thing: trauma.

Unfortunately, trauma disconnects us from essential spiritual and human needs.

On a deeper level, trauma can disrupt a person’s ability to feel safe in their own body and in the world, making it harder to experience genuine belonging.

So if you find it difficult to connect, if you feel like trauma is taking over your life, know that there are possibilities, there are chances to heal. If you take the step to work on yourself, I promise you will see a big difference. For example, body-based approaches such as somatic experiencing can be a powerful way to help you reconnect with yourself.

I don’t disagree with talk therapy, I do think it can be effective for certain people, but attachment wounds are deeply rooted in our nervous system. To truly heal, we need to feel it in our bodies, in our posture, in our sensations. Only by accessing these deeper layers can we begin to move beyond our attachment issues.

For now, let's start by dreaming "small." I don't like to dream too big when there is still a wound underneath.

What does your kind of tribe look like?