Why do I care so much about spiritual bypassing?

Because I care deeply about people, especially my clients. I see spiritual bypassing everywhere, in daily interactions and even in healing practices. And honestly? I don’t know what’s scarier.

Let’s dive into what spiritual bypassing actually is:

The term was coined by John Welwood. He described it as using “spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep personal, emotional ‘unfinished business,’ to shore up a shaky sense of self, or to belittle basic needs, feelings, and developmental tasks.” In simple terms, it’s avoiding and repressing emotions instead of dealing with them. Some people use spirituality to escape their problems instead of facing them.

We all know someone who goes on a spiritual retreat to “find themselves” but comes back to the same old problems. They might feel good for a little while, but eventually, life triggers them again. Nothing really changed.

Many people unknowingly use spirituality as a way to suppress difficult emotions rather than process them. Instead of addressing pain, they turn to meditation, affirmations, or spiritual teachings to calm themselves down. While these practices can be helpful, they don’t resolve the root issues. Over time, the unprocessed emotions resurface, affecting relationships, mental well-being, and overall healing.

For true healing, self-awareness and emotional expression are essential. Learning to face and communicate emotions in a healthy way, rather than avoiding them, is a crucial step. When spirituality is used to support real emotional growth instead of bypassing it, it becomes a powerful tool for transformation rather than a temporary escape.

So why is spiritual bypassing harmful?

Because avoiding emotions doesn’t make them go away, it makes things worse. Repressing emotions affects both the mind and body. As Gabor Maté explains, suppressing anger damages the nervous system and can lead to chronic illnesses. I once read tin his book:

“I never get angry,” says a Woody Allen character in one of his films, “I grow a tumor instead.”

When anger is suppressed, stress hormones like cortisol flood the system. This weakens immunity and makes the body more vulnerable to illness. Autoimmune diseases, diabetes, and even Alzheimer’s have been linked to emotional suppression.

Now you see why I think spiritual bypassing is so dangerous.

But there’s another side to it, the so-called “gurus” who claim they can heal your trauma with a single touch. These people use manipulation to make you believe healing is instant and effortless.

Let’s be real: healing takes time, patience, and deep self-understanding. It’s not just about “releasing energies.” It’s a lifelong commitment that requires consistent work. Healing doesn’t have a finish line, and that’s okay. At some point, it just becomes a way of life.

How can you spot fake healers who use spiritual bypassing?

1) If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Be skeptical of anyone who says, “It’s magic.”

2) If they pressure you with sales tactics and charge crazy amounts of money, that’s a red flag. Healing should feel safe, not stressful.

3) Trust your gut. If something feels off, listen to that feeling.

4) If they don’t ask for permission before touching you, walk away.

5) If their techniques look like an exorcism, be cautious. As Peter Levine says, “Trauma happened too fast and too soon.” Healing should be the opposite, slow and steady.

6) Check their credentials and research their methods. Don’t trust a random Instagram video that claims to heal you in an hour, a day, or even a week.

We live in a time where, as Dr. Ramani says, “healing porn” is everywhere. Everything looks appealing, but we need to pause and think. We need to inform ourselves and figure out what’s truly right for us.

Healing is a lifelong journey. No one is ever “fully healed.” Life keeps flowing, and we keep discovering new layers of ourselves. We can’t predict every wound that will surface, it happens as we grow.

So how can you make sure you (or someone else) is healing in a real, grounded way?

1) Check their integrity. Do their words match their actions?

2) Look for consistency. Integrity isn’t proven in a day, it’s shown over time.

Let me know what you think!