Embrace Curiosity, Rewrite Stories
What I've come to understand about healing is that often there's this resistance, a fear that holds us back. We're afraid to begin because the unknown seems scarier than what's familiar. Breaking cycles, old patterns, and stepping away from unhealthy environments—critiquing and judging ourselves—yeah, it's tough. It's tough because it's deeply ingrained, it's what we've known for years. Sometimes, what's uncomfortable feels comfortable simply because it's what we know.
But what if I told you that closing a cycle, truly healing from it, almost always leads to opening up a new one that's less painful? What if we could shift that resistance into something positive? What if we saw curiosity as our greatest tool for better well-being? What if we set aside judgment and criticism and embraced new possibilities?
Let's give it a shot.
Now, imagine before trying any stress-release technique, I tell you that all this new age stuff for the mind, body, and soul is a load of nonsense. What if I suggest you repeat to yourself that whatever you're about to do won't work and you'll just end up looking foolish?
Okay, got that mindset? Now, I'm going to ask you to stand up, put on some music, and start shaking. Yes, shake it out—start from your legs, work your way up through your body, your arms, your head.
I'm willing to bet about 85% of you won't do it. Your curiosity's been shut down because your mind's already convinced your body it's pointless.
But what if I ask you to just take five minutes—F-I-V-E—of your time? In those five minutes, allow yourself to feel. Try to silence the judgments and the inner critic, and instead, embrace one thing: full-on curiosity. Maybe something will happen, or maybe things will stay exactly the same as when you started. Tell that voice of worst-case scenarios to quiet down for a bit.
Find a quiet spot where you can be completely alone, free from judgment from others. Now, grab a piece of paper and jot down how you're feeling in this exact moment in your body: tired, sluggish, demotivated, or perhaps energetic, happy, at ease. But put it down on paper. Also, write down what your mind is saying before you begin—whatever it is. I promise I don't have spies around you, so feel free to write down even if it's "this crazy person is making me do something totally ridiculous."
Now, put on some headphones or crank up your stereo. Blast this music like you're at the best rave you've ever been to. And start shaking.
Don't dance—just shake. Let yourself be free. If something else comes up, like your throat wants to scream, let it out. Be whoever your instinct and intuition want you to be for these five minutes. Just five.
Shake like you're freezing cold, like you're having convulsions, like someone's shaking you. Move your legs, your arms, your belly, your jaw—shake EVERYTHING. And don't bother asking yourself, "Am I doing this wrong?" Who cares? There's no right or wrong here—just SHAKE! When you're done, come back to this text.
°https://open.spotify.com/intl-it/track/7yIwqB3wa10VUJABUu00kZ?si=c7e299e2d79e470c
°this is the YouTube link if you don’t have Spotify : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j54b2BEqcbs
Before we wrap up:
- How are you feeling in your body right now? Can you jot it down?
- What's your mind saying to you at this moment?
- Has the worst-case scenario come to pass?
Alright, folks, here's the real deal:
First off, it wasn't just five minutes; it was more like 5 minutes and 47 seconds. So yeah, I fibbed a bit there.
Secondly, you allowed yourself to embrace curiosity. How did it feel in your mind and body to let curiosity triumph over self-criticism, judgments, and negativity? Maybe a bit daunting for some of you, but how freeing was it?
When you open up to curiosity, that's when your authentic self comes knocking at the door... and that's where healing begins. You gave yourself just five minutes to break free from old patterns. Now, imagine extending that for a longer period, maybe even when you're surrounded by other people?
It's all possible, but you've got to give curiosity a chance to be your main guide, your guru.
Healing is a conscious choice, one that unfolds every single day. It's not just about talk therapy, an hour of yoga, or a breathing technique. It's a mindset—it's mindfulness. It's about being consciously aware.
Sure, therapy, coaching, bodywork—they're all helpful. But true healing occurs when you find lessons in your mistakes, when you consciously recognize a pattern and make an effort to change it. And, as I've said before and will say again, it's about curiosity.
Where to start? Well, you're free to start however feels safest for you. Maybe it begins with guidance from a coach, therapist, or healer. Or perhaps it starts with you, diving into self-discovery.
Open your mind to receive information, then seek out your own answers. Right now, there are millions of healers worldwide, and with the vast resources available on social media, you can easily find what resonates with you. These are just small tips, but if something clicks, go ahead—buy those books, listen to those podcasts, do your research, and then give it a try. Remember, the greatest resource lies within us.
Here are some of my favorite healers who empower self-directed change:
- The Holistic Psychologist @theholisticpsychologist
- Barlas Gunay @acceptandact
- Gabor Maté @gabormatemd
- Sara Kuburić, MA, CCC @millennial.therapist
- Vienna Pharaon @mindfulmft
- Jeff Guenther, LPC @therapyjeff
Check out this article for more great therapists on Instagram: https://empathysites.com/the-best-therapist-instagram-accounts/
Many of them have written books, but I highly recommend those by The Holistic Psychologist for their accessible style.
Books that have profoundly impacted me and taught me invaluable lessons include:
- "How to Do the Work" by Nicole Le Pera
- "Good Morning, I Love You" by Shauna Shapiro
- "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk
- "When the Body Says No" by Gabor Maté
As for therapies I've tried and loved:
- Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS): https://ifs-institute.com/practitioners
- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR): https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
- Compassionate Inquiry: https://compassionateinquiry.com/practitioners/?sort=date-desc
- Somatic Experiencing (I'll be starting the course in a month!): https://directory.traumahealing.org
Start with a small seed and let it grow organically, nurturing it with a little water every day. It's a gentle way to embark on your healing journey. Remember, you're not broken; you just have wounds, and wounds can heal. There's hope for all of us; we just need to be fully committed. And I promise you, you'll never regret it.
(If you find yourself in need of guidance along your healing journey or if you're considering starting on a path towards self-discovery, know that I'm here to support you. As someone who's deeply passionate about this work, I offer coaching services that I'm proud of. I have some open slots available, and I'd love to invite you to a compassionate call where we can connect and explore how I can assist you. It's completely free, and there's no pressure whatsoever. If you're curious, feel free to reach out.)
